January was exactly what we needed after December: relatively uneventful. Or at least to anyone who didn't know we were expecting another baby!
January was the longest month EVER.
Now that we’ve announced our pregnancy, I can explain why. For starters, I started getting nauseous from Week 5. Like we found out I was pregnant, I had about three days of celebration and BAM, enjoyment over. While I was pregnant with Tatum, I threw up every single morning for seven weeks. This pregnancy didn’t drive me to actually vomiting, but I was nauseous 24/7, so bad in the afternoons and evenings that I literally couldn’t sit up in bed. I’m not proud of how much TV Tatum has watched since mid-December.
We told our families about my pregnancy at Christmas and I had to wait until January 8 before we had our first appointment. The second time around I’m so much more aware of all the things that could go wrong and I immediately teared up when I heard his little heartbeat and saw that first ultrasound. We decided to do the NIP Test which would tell us the gender by 11 weeks because it was covered by our insurance, but I was positive it was a boy before that. Mother’s intuition!
It’s always funny to me to talk about my pregnancies because when you look at the list of old wives tales about baby gender based on the mother’s symptoms, mine are the opposite. When I had Tatum, all signs pointed to boy and this time, all signs pointed to girl, aside from the fact I wasn’t physically throwing up all the time. The nausea was much worse for this one though. My only cravings have been cereal and the things I survived on during Tatum’s pregnancy (soda and junk food) make me feel TERRIBLE and dehydrated so I’ve stayed away from them completely. Also probably a good thing since I became a total whale when I was pregnant with her!
Aside from an NBA game in Orlando, nothing exciting or memorable occurred this month while we waited for our test results and to get through that dreaded first trimester. I officially hit 13 weeks on January 30 and we had our next checkup that day. Our NIPT results were in and as soon as they said boy I almost cried tears of joy. Everyone thought it was because I reeeally wanted a boy, but at this point, I’m really just not ready for Tatum to not be my only little girl! I definitely wanted a boy at some point though, and I wanted Brian to have a son! Everyone says the mom-son bond is like the daddy-daughter bond and is so unique and different and special, but Tatum and I have our own special bond that nothing can ever take the place of. Moms and daughters, man. It’s something powerful.
I have sooo much guilt about having another baby. I’m an only child, so when I think about how close my mom and I are and how it was always me and her, I sob thinking about how Tatum is still too young to remember this time we have right now just the two of us. Everyone tells me that when I see my babies together that my guilt will go away and I guess she will never know the difference of not having him in her life, but I still cry thinking about it. I guess it’s one-child-mom syndrome because I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how I will ever love someone else as much as I love her.
Now that we’ve told people I’m pregnant and we know everything with baby boy is on track and he’s doing well, time is speeding back up. With Tatum, I was so in a hurry for the pregnancy to get to the end, and this time around I’m so laid back. I want time to go slowly, even though I know it won’t because life is insane right now. I’m enjoying every day soaking up my Tatum time, trying to keep in better shape than I was last pregnancy, and trying to document this special time where I finally feel like I’ve found my groove again.... before our world explodes all over!
We are so excited for another baby, and sooo excited it’s a boy. We’re evening the teams! I couldn’t be excited to have a boy if I wasn’t married to a man who is exactly what I hope my son becomes, so I have to thank Brian for that. With every day and every season, I just love and admire him even more and can’t wait to keep growing our family with him.
