Starting Fresh: January 2019 & SURPRISEl

January was exactly what we needed after December: relatively uneventful. Or at least to anyone who didn't know we were expecting another baby!

January was the longest month EVER. 

Now that we’ve announced our pregnancy, I can explain why. For starters, I started getting nauseous from Week 5. Like we found out I was pregnant, I had about three days of celebration and BAM, enjoyment over. While I was pregnant with Tatum, I threw up every single morning for seven weeks. This pregnancy didn’t drive me to actually vomiting, but I was nauseous 24/7, so bad in the afternoons and evenings that I literally couldn’t sit up in bed. I’m not proud of how much TV Tatum has watched since mid-December. 

We told our families about my pregnancy at Christmas and I had to wait until January 8 before we had our first appointment. The second time around I’m so much more aware of all the things that could go wrong and I immediately teared up when I heard his little heartbeat and saw that first ultrasound. We decided to do the NIP Test which would tell us the gender by 11 weeks because it was covered by our insurance, but I was positive it was a boy before that. Mother’s intuition!

It’s always funny to me to talk about my pregnancies because when you look at the list of old wives tales about baby gender based on the mother’s symptoms, mine are the opposite. When I had Tatum, all signs pointed to boy and this time, all signs pointed to girl, aside from the fact I wasn’t physically throwing up all the time. The nausea was much worse for this one though. My only cravings have been cereal and the things I survived on during Tatum’s pregnancy (soda and junk food) make me feel TERRIBLE and dehydrated so I’ve stayed away from them completely. Also probably a good thing since I became a total whale when I was pregnant with her! 

Aside from an NBA game in Orlando, nothing exciting or memorable occurred this month while we waited for our test results and to get through that dreaded first trimester. I officially hit 13 weeks on January 30 and we had our next checkup that day. Our NIPT results were in and as soon as they said boy I almost cried tears of joy. Everyone thought it was because I reeeally wanted a boy, but at this point, I’m really just not ready for Tatum to not be my only little girl! I definitely wanted a boy at some point though, and I wanted Brian to have a son! Everyone says the mom-son bond is like the daddy-daughter bond and is so unique and different and special, but Tatum and I have our own special bond that nothing can ever take the place of. Moms and daughters, man. It’s something powerful. 

I have sooo much guilt about having another baby. I’m an only child, so when I think about how close my mom and I are and how it was always me and her, I sob thinking about how Tatum is still too young to remember this time we have right now just the two of us. Everyone tells me that when I see my babies together that my guilt will go away and I guess she will never know the difference of not having him in her life, but I still cry thinking about it. I guess it’s one-child-mom syndrome because I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how I will ever love someone else as much as I love her. 

Now that we’ve told people I’m pregnant and we know everything with baby boy is on track and he’s doing well, time is speeding back up. With Tatum, I was so in a hurry for the pregnancy to get to the end, and this time around I’m so laid back. I want time to go slowly, even though I know it won’t because life is insane right now. I’m enjoying every day soaking up my Tatum time, trying to keep in better shape than I was last pregnancy, and trying to document this special time where I finally feel like I’ve found my groove again.... before our world explodes all over! 

We are so excited for another baby, and sooo excited it’s a boy. We’re evening the teams! I couldn’t be excited to have a boy if I wasn’t married to a man who is exactly what I hope my son becomes, so I have to thank Brian for that. With every day and every season, I just love and admire him even more and can’t wait to keep growing our family with him. 

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The Bitterness that was December 2018

The only way to describe December is that it wasn't anything like what anyone had planned. It was nice for the random Christmas festivities that occurred throughout the month, but overall I'm glad it's behind us.

It started when my dad and stepdad were supposed to come down for a long weekend over the second weekend of the month. It was my grandmother's 91st birthday and a chance to enjoy warmer weather. They wound up postponing the trip to February for Tatum's birthday because my grandma decided she was going to fly up with us for Christmas two weeks later, only that didn't happen either. 

The week before Christmas, my grandma got a bad cold which can easily, and has in the past, put her into the hospital. Although she was on the mend, our whole family and her doctor thought it would be unwise for her to travel, given that 80% of people traveling during the holidays end up with a head cold or infection of some sort after the fact. So she cancelled her flight.

The day before we were supposed to hop on a plane to spend 9 days with my family for the holiday, we received some terrible news. Brian's older brother, Steven, had passed away suddenly. Steve was a type 1 diabetic and had been suffering from a stomach bug for the two days prior. As a diabetic, anytime someone can't keep fluid or food in their system it can be highly life threatening. Thursday morning, December 20, 2018, Brian's dad went to check on Steve after taking him food and drinks and checking on him the night before, only to find Steve in his apartment already gone. 

Brian came home from work that day and worked from home the next day while we altered our plans. We decided to still fly to Maryland the next day, but we would leave the day after Christmas to fly to Salt Lake City in preparation of Steve's services. 

The trip from BWI to SLC was nothing short of a nightmare. We had four suitcases full of clothes for 10 days and Christmas presents, a toddler, and a layover in Dallas. We arrived safely in Dallas, only to have our flight to SLC delayed over and over again before it was finally cancelled 5 hours later. Because we had already flown a portion of our trip, the airline said they couldn't help us over the phone and only an attendant at our current airport could help. Brian waited in line for 3 hours until after midnight while I tried to get Tatum to sleep on me before he got to the desk. Once there, they tried many options before finally booking us onto the most feasible flight path to get us there before the funeral services. We had to go get our bags and recheck them, where we learned they had been sitting out on the carts in the thunder and lightning storm that had cancelled our flight, and were soaked, ALL OF THEM, completely through. 

When we went to recheck them, the woman at the airline had the audacity to tell me one of our bags was over weight limit. I probably gave her a look that could have killed her on the spot and responded with, "Well sweetie they weren't like that when we checked them back in Baltimore. Perhaps it's the fact that they got drenched sitting on YOUR runway for hours, or maybe they magically grew in size while I slept on your airport floor for the last 4 hours with a toddler. Either way, I think you can let this one slide." And she did. 

We got on a 6 am flight to Denver, where we had a 6 1/2 hour layover, and then sat on the airplane for an hour while they tried to reroute our plane to avoid a storm around Salt Lake City. After over 31 hours of travel, we arrived in Utah with four soaking wet bags, three exhausted and smelly people, and no patience. Brian's mom picked us up, pumped us full of In-N-Out, and got us safely home where she started washing and drying all our clothes and my angelic sister-in-law let me borrow dry clothes and gave Tatum a bath while Brian and I showered. All I can think is, "Imagine how screwed we would have been if we weren't going somewhere with a free washer and dryer." I don't think I'll ever have to convince Brian to fork out a few hundred bucks more for that nonstop Delta flight ever again. 

The next day was Steve's viewing and the following day was the funeral. Kevin and Brian both spoke and had beautiful remarks. We laughed, we cried, we mourned, and we'll always miss Steven until we see him again. He leaves behind three beautiful children and it's not going to be an easy time without him anytime soon. But we know he's in a better place, free of his fight with diabetes and other of life's struggles. We were surrounded by so many family and friends all weekend, we are so blessed for the love and support we received, and especially the moments that lightened up the hard times. 

We flew home on New Year's Eve, were just getting our bags when the clock struck midnight, and we had never been happier to be home. The day after we got home, we took down the Christmas tree and all our decorations. I think Brian and I were both so done with the month and the way the year ended that we just wanted it all put away and out of mind. Being in Florida helps some, because we aren't reminded so strongly of the mess that Christmas was this year since the weather is usually pretty warm and feels like springtime. 

For a week and a half after we got home, Tatum would wake up at 3 AM and be awake for about two hours. She would just talk and laugh and when we went in to tuck her in, she would just sit back up five minutes later and keep chattering. We kept making jokes that Steve had come to check on her and visit and she just had so much to say she couldn't possibly go to sleep. 

2018 was full. Full of love, adventure, excitement, hardships, frustrations, successes, beautiful triumphs, and bittersweet endings. We traveled 7/12 months, family came to see us multiple months, we bought our second house, Brian started his MBA, we went to four of our best friends' weddings, and we more than took advantage of Florida residency in our Disney World passes. My baby became a toddler.

We're excited for what 2019 holds for our family.

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November, Thanksgiving, & Las Vegas 2018

Having family in town is always wonderful, but it goes without saying there's always much to do after they leave, especially when you leave for a 12 day trip only a week and a half after family's departure. 

Brian and I celebrated 3 years of marriage on the 13th, the night before I left, at our traditional spot, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Hands down always the best filet mignon I've ever had, or probably will ever have. Shoutout to my cousin Julie for always watching Tatum for our special occasions. She's one of the only people in Florida I can leave her with for hours guilt-free because she always insists we take our time and enjoy ourselves. She's pretty much the best.

Aside from the normal hustle and bustle of life and preparing for a trip, I was determined to have all my Christmas shopping done and wrapped for Brian's side of the family before we left for Vegas so I could bring it all and not have to ship it. Somehow I succeeded, but it was a miracle that Kevin and Amanda still had necessities like car seats that fit Tatum so I didn't have to tote that along with the two suitcases and carry-ons I already had for our trip. Did I mention that Brian didn't fly out with us? So somehow I survived a 4 1/2 hour flight with Tatum alone and hung out in Vegas with our nieces and nephews for a week before the other adults returned/arrived. 

Kevin and Amanda took a 6-day Cancun trip so I flew out to watch the kiddos while they were gone and Brian and his parents, brother Steve, and niece and nephew all arrived the day before Thanksgiving. While I was babysitting, Dylan turned 6 so we had a fun, full day of Springs Preserve, McDonalds, and Farmer Boys (those kids can throw down some fast food!!). Because the weather is favorable so much of the year, Vegas has a lot of fun parks for the kids and I think their favorite was Fox Hill Park, a climbing park, in Summerlin. We also went to the trampoline park, Gravady, and Tatum was completely in her element. Kevin also heated the pool to 90 degrees so even though it was sometimes in the 60s, the kids were still in and out of the pool and hot tub!

 We had such a fun Thanksgiving with the whole family there! The next day, Amanda and I took advantage of some Black Friday shopping and that night all the adults went out to see the new Beatles Love Cirque de soleil show at The Mirage, my first Vegas show! Braxton is old enough to babysit and put the kids to bed now so that was a huge plus. Our tickets were Christmas presents from Kevin & Amanda and our seats were incredible! It was so fun. The next day, Brian and I were able to take some time together to go to the Vegas temple and indulge in some Cafe Rio. That night, Kevin & Amanda, and Brian & I went to dinner at Juan's Flaming Fajitas (highlyyy recommend) and then did an escape room. We wound up dying but it was fun haha. 

Brian and I and Tatum flew home the Monday after Thanksgiving and it was back to real life! The day after we got home, we set up our Christmas tree and got the house all decorated! It was fun to be back in a real house that we could decorate outside again this year.

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